Who drank the last cup?

TTLB Eco-confusion

2007-11-13T10:36:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure I understand this TTLB rating thingy. 18 months ago, when I was actually intersted in blogging, TTLB had lovingly ranked me as some sort of slime mold creature. Then after 18 months of abandonment, I move up the food chain to an aquatic vertebrate with gills (aka the flippery fish).

Wow! Imagine how valuable this stuff will be when I'm dead!

Now that's a rocket!!!

2007-11-12T11:05:00.001-08:00

Neener neener...

2007-11-12T11:00:00.001-08:00

I HATE SPAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-12T10:48:00.000-08:00

A guy can't leave a blog alone for even a year without the onset of spam-fester!!

Space Simulator

2006-06-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

Check out this really cool space simulator. Acheiving orbit is friggin' hard!

Orbiter - A free space flight simulator

New CEV designs surfacing

2006-05-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

I ran across some new CEV design material (or new to me, at least). Pretty cool stuff.
(Left to right: Apollo Saturn IV, Shuttle, Crew Launch Vehicle [CLV], Cargo Launch Vehicle [CaLV])

Click here for additional info.

Getting ready for Apophis

2006-05-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like some at NASA are taking Apophis seriously. They are requesting abstracts on deflection techniques from the experts, with a deadline for submission on May 26. White papers on selected abstracts will be due on June 25. Someone is taking the NEO threat seriously. I don't know if the timing of these efforts is coincidental given the threat posed by Apophis. And it really shouldn't matter. I commend any effort to prepare for a threat. We need a sound plan that we can move into action at a moments notice.

It's gonna be a cool hurricane season

2006-05-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

I went out and bought a generator after losing power during Ivan. So I had a generator when Katrina struck, which knocked out my power for about a week. After the storm passed, I cranked that puppy up and all was well. Plugged in my fridge, tv, etc. My primary concern was the fridge. Big mistake.

I started out with 17 gallons of gas. My generator will burn about 10 gallons per 24 hours. So I rationed the gas to make the fridge last. I ran 6 hours on, 6 hours off. I thought this would keep the fridge. 3 days and 15 gallons later, I had to borrow gas from other neighbors. But I kept it running for that friggin fridge.

To make the long story short, the fridge needed more than 12 hours per day to keep. It might have been ok for a few days, but I ran like this for a week. Maybe if I had run 1 hour on, 1 hour off. Dunno. And kinda hard to do while at work.

When it was over, I realized I had my priorities screwed up. I had agonized over trying to save the fridge, cutting off the generator at times when my kids wanted to watch TV or when we really needed the power for something else. I sacrificed comfort for the priority of perishable food. That week was really hot and miserable. Try sleeping in 90 degree heat at nearly 100% humidity in a pool of sweat. Miserable.

So...

Now I say "screw the perishable food!" It's just not worth it. New priority for the generator now is COMFORT!! So, after Katrina, I bought an air conditioner. Yay!

Found a window unit at Target for $70 that will cool up to 150 sqft. So the plan now is to sleep in an airconditioned room. Got my priorities straight now. I now plan to seal my master bedroom and bathroom from the rest of the house, mount the unit in that room, and live with my family in that portion of the house. Kinda like living in an efficiency apartment for a few days. Heck of alot cheaper than living out of a hotel room, and alot more comfortable than drowning in your own sweat.

They say air conditioning settled the south. I believe it!

I don't care if you call me soft. Several years ago, lightening struck my air conditioner and caused some extensive damage. When I called the insurance company, they wanted to declare my house uninhabitable due to lack of A/C. You just gotta spend a summer in the deep south to appreciate A/C.

Constructing for 'canes

2006-05-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

Living in the Gulf Coast region, I go through the same drill every year. Hurricane preparedness. In fact, it's almost that time again. Yippee.

My last set of storm shutters were crudely constructed of 1x6 picketts with 2x4 braces. When I built them, I used the only wood I could purchase at the time. Plywood stocks were raided. But, now that there is time and currently no panic, I'm ditching my junky shutters for nice plywood.

But here's my dilemna... I have a brick house with aluminum framed windows. What the heck is someone supposed to attach their shutters to, anyway? I have taken the time to install masonry anchors in the brick around each window to serve as attachment points. But what about other folks? Some, they say, prefer to wedge 2x4's between the brick. No thanks. Other prefer Plylocks. I'm not too wild about these, though some people swear by them.

What I don't understand is why building codes don't require attachment points installed during construction for houses in high wind areas. I really wouldn't have minded spending a few hundred extra bucks to have anchors preset. Of course builders aren't going to take it upon themselves to furnish anchors, so why not make it code?

Just a thought.

Hang on to your butts... this one's gonna be close!

2006-05-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

Wanna know how close asteroid 99942 Apophis (2004 MN4) will come to the Earth? This trajectory path tells it all. This is how close JPL thinks Apophis will come in 2029. It is predicted to be visible by the naked eye. But this pass isn't what has them worried.

Instead, they worry about the affect Earth's gravity will have on Apophis' trajectory. Were it not for this predicted deviation in course, the next fly-by in 2036 would be of little concern. However, because of this deviation, there is now concern that in 2036 an impact might be likely. This concern has resulted in an increase to threat level 2 on the Torino scale.

Unfortunately, NASA seems to be too science minded to recognize a need for action. Someone suggested the brilliant idea of attaching a radio transmitter to Apophis in 2029 to aid tracking the object. NASA rejected this saying we have plenty of time to prepare and it is not willing to waste money on a needless launch. However, it is considering some science missions during the flyby.

Where are the priorities here!

Somehow, I don't think Apophis will really care about a temporary worker program, or a wall (or dome for that matter).

Burt Rutan is the man.

2006-05-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

Courtesy Scaled Composites

Watched a replay of the documentary on SpaceShipOne the other night. Gave me chills all over again. It is pretty impressive to think what they have accomplished. It's also a slap in the face to NASA.

Sure, one might argue that Mr. Rutan has technological benifits that NASA didn't have. That's a valide excuse in the previous century. But not now. And yet NASA seems to keep making the same mistakes.

I believe NASA's biggest problem has always been too much "engineering for the sake of engineering". Poor leadership allows engineers to design solutions that are more complex than the problem calls for. The KISS priciple is a foreign concept.

I appreciate the accomplishment of the Space Shuttle, but think it was a bad idea from the start. Why in the world would we want to build such a hugely complex machine to achieve low earth orbit, considering the multiple points for potential failure? Way too complex.

It's no wonder Russia and China prefer the capsule. It's simple and reliable. Proven technology. It is self-righting during reentry. Has a one-piece heat shield. Has a crew escape (ejection) system. How can you compete with that?

So, someone at NASA wakes up and embraces the capsule design once more. Now we have the CEV on its way. Much better. But still sounds vastly more complex than it needs to be. And if they even think about putting tiles on the bottom of that thing, I will completely declare NASA's manned space program a complete failure. Victim of politics and over engineering.

But, hopefully not. I will hold my breath and wait for a solid, one-piece heat shield.

Now, Mr. Rutan is on his way toward Tier Two. This will expand his craft's capabilities to earth orbit. I'm extremely curious how he plans to maintain his current space ship design, and create a variant that will survive reentry at those speeds. Very excited to see the results.

I know he is still working on the next phase of Tier One, but hopefully we will be seeing some preliminary design work on Tier Two. Hopefully.

With this said, my hat's off to the guy at NASA that invited Mr. Rutan to comment on the CEV. He is a valuable national resource that everyone should recognize. You gotta have someone with an agenda driven only by the desire for safe "no frills" spaceflight, free from political pressure, to get good guidance and sound advice for the future of our crippled, manned program.

I prefer sound, proven solutions. Mr. Rutan, however, has criticized the CEV program for not being risky enough. Somewhere in the middle there is an opportunity to move forward. But if we are going to take more risks, lets actually achieve something more than yet another low-earth orbit flight. Greater risk should yield greater returns, right?

Good Job, Tony Snow.

2006-05-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

Well, got to sit down and watch some recap of Tony's debut on C-Span. I was quite impressed. Seemed to humanize the position. I liked the way he handled most questions, and seemed to provide better insight. Several points were amusing, including his comment on "faking it".

The next few months ought to be interesting.

Monkey Faced Liberals

2006-05-12T13:49:00.000-07:00

Boy! Things certainly are interesting over at IMAO.

http://www.imao.us/archives/005431.html

NSA...palooza!

2006-05-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

Click on this link...
http://www.imao.us/archives/005426.html
...for some crazy folk rantin'.

Enjoy :)

NSA hires Tom Cruise

2006-05-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

Courtesy http://i.imdb.com

I recently learned that the NSA's capabilities in communication tracking exceeds previous predictions. According to sources, they now possess the capabilities to record phone conversations before they actually happen!

With the help of Tom Cruise, the NSA has perfected a new system that will record future phone conversations and print them on balls. Unlike the movie, however, they have decided to go with ping-pong balls since they are easy to print on and since the NSA has a special relationship with Spalding.

Following the same premise as the movie, the system requires the brain power of individuals floating in water. Because all NSA employees are highly skilled in ESP techniques, they simply wired into the NSA's indoor pool located in their health spa (this is the government after all). Furthermore, they have found that the more people in the pool the better the results.

Oddly enough, every employee is now required to register for water aerobics.

What does the NSA need call data for?

2006-05-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

Report: NSA Has Call Data On Millions
Man, that was close. They almost got away with it, but thanks to CBS another government conspiracy has been brought to light. What in the heck would the NSA need our phone call records for anyway? Sounds like they're up to no good. Their capabilities to protect us should be more than adequate with that mind reader thingy they use to keep tabs on the bad guys. And of course it only works on the bad guys. They need to just stick with that alien technology they got from Area 51 and leave our phone records alone.

Next thing you know, they'll be wire tapping cell phone conversations... as soon as they figure out which wire to tap into.

I'm drowning in sarcasm.

Yay Cassini and Huygens!

2006-05-10T10:01:00.000-07:00

http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/videos/cassini/cassini-20060504/

Awesome video. Just take a moment to realize how far we have gone and then appreciate the detailed imagery we can obtain from such a vast distance.

XM Rocks

2006-05-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

I love my XM receiver. But before you ask... no current plans for marriage. I'd have to move to Utah for that.

Currently jamming to the Foo Fighters.

Spacemonkey once asked me if they actually fight foo. I'm beginning to wonder that myself.

Camp Splodytard

2006-05-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

Reading this article (http://www.imao.us/archives/005402.html), I started to wonder how suicide bombers are trained. Then I thought how amusing (in a sort of dark, grotesque way) it would be to discover a suicide bombing training camp.

Nestled in a valley in some desert, accessible only by a dusty dirt road, lies "Camp Splodytard". You wouldn't think a camp like this would have much luck with training, though. The only graduates would have failed to detonate their practice charges at the test range.

So, would you have awards akin to marksmanship? What would you pin the marksmanship pin to anyway? The hall of fame might include a trophy cabinet with marksmenship pins attached to scraps of shirt material with *you know what* embedded in them. (You know what, 'cause I'm starting to gross myself out on this idea.)

And then there are the satellite photos. Yuck.

(BTW, I don't know who came up with "splodytard", but read it over on JimmyB's site, http://www.theconservativeuawguy.blogspot.com.

Bored with Toxie

2006-05-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

When I Google "toxic avenger" or "toxie", the number of people using these names for screennames really highlights my enormous talents in creativity. Not.

The name was a kneejerk, last minute thing. I was more interested in creating a blog than deciding on an alter ego. So, while I'm still a nobody (not that I expect people to suddently fall in love with the crap I'm writing), I should take the opportunity to more carefully consider another name.

More on this later...

What the heck is up with Ford?

2006-05-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, now I'm shopping for a new car. We've been eyeing the Ford Freestyle. Test drove one yesterday. Nice.

It has all the perks that our Caravan had, but much smaller and more maneuverable. Sportier too. So, yeah it's still a grocery getter, but seems nicer than a full fledged van. So, I'm pretty sold on this car and then I start doing some research last night. I find out that Ford is going to discontinue the Freestyle in '07. Well, that sucks!

So, the car I've about settled on is going to be discontinued? Why? Well, in reading, I find out they aren't selling well. It's a really nice car, did very well in crash test evaluations, but nobody is buying them. Then I start to think about it and realize I never see them on the road. There is one in my neighborhood, and its the only one I can think of seeing in town. And I can't remember ever seeing a comercial for one.

So, Ford introduces what seems like a nice car, doesn't make any decent attempt to market it, and after 2 years decides to pull the plug? Strange marketing tactics. In fact, I read some articles anticipating the discontinuance back in '05. That's right when it came out! Something is screwy here.

Anywho, if you have a family and are in need of a vehicle that seats 6 with lots of cargo room, but you are sick of mini-vans and can't (or won't) afford an Excursion/Tahoe/etc., give it a look. Then explain why they would discontinue it.

Cars are very frustrating.

Busy Week

2006-05-05T07:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been very busy the last few weeks.

My wife was involved in an accident last Thursday. Airbag proceeded to remove a sizeable chunk of skin from my wife's arm. Otherwise, everyone was OK. Very scary moments.

The car is totalled. Now, I have to buy a new one. Crap.

Get this... my car was a 2003 Dodge Caravan. The collision damage was estimated at around $5000. Certainly not worthy of being "totalled". But then I find out that when a Chrysler vehicle's airbags deploy, you not only have to replace each airbag, sensors, control unit, and seatbelt pretentioners; but you also have to replace the steering linkage, steering column, steering wheel, and dashboard. All that and a bag of chips comes to a whole lot of money.

So the explanation I get is that when the airbag deploys, the steering column buckles and gives to reduce injury to the driver. Once this happens, it all has to be replace.

Moral of the story... don't wreck a Chrysler product! Can we say "disposable car?"

Hooray for JimmyB!

2006-05-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

Glad to hear all went well!

Congrats!

"Right Hand of God" calls for help

2006-04-26T08:37:00.000-07:00

The story regarding Andrea Clarke really concerns me. Frankly, medical doctors are given way too much leeway in their decision making abilities. I know from my own experiences that physicians often make mistakes. Now, call it an ethics review, or whatever you will. Something is wrong here.

Either we don't have all the details to the story...

or people in Texas are heartless...

or this girl is simply costing the facility too much money.

Go figure.

Dr. Spacemonkey Update #2

2006-04-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have read my comment on The Flying Spacemonkey Chronicles regarding Spacemonkey's post titled New Sunglasses. If you'll recall, I was able to shed some insight into the diabolical world of Dr. Spacemonkey and his goings on at Spacemonkey Island.

Well, I feel it is my duty to continue my service to the world as I provide detailed information regarding Dr. Spacemonkey's activities. And I want to take this opportunity to thank the anonymous contributor at IMAO who was actually able to obtain photographs of this ellusive monstrosity (not to mention a few glimpses of your's truly during one of myreconnaissance outings).

You see, Dr. Spacemonkey is a product of the elusive Plum Island facility. However, due to unseen circumstances, Dr. Spacemonkey escaped the seemingly secure confinement of the Plum Island facility, made his way past the outer perimeter, and swam to a passing ferry.

It was here that Dr. Spacemonkey gained access to the mainland, exposing us all to his dangerous and evil ways. However, unable to function in society, he was forced back into seclusion. Rumor has it, he found passage to a small island and, using his powers of influence, was able to procure the money and resources to develop a rather large and sophisticated complex on his island. His new home, now referred to as Spacemonkey Island, has become the source for countless rumors of sick and twisted experimentation and various monkey business. Take the bat winged pig, for example. I'm sorry to reveal such horrors to you, but it IS my duty.

Make no mistake. I will not rest until this menace is neutralized. Please stay tuned as I guide you through the primate underworld into the realm of....

Dr. Spacemonkey and Spacemonkey Island [...screaming...]

Back in the South

2006-04-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

New England is a lovely place to visit. But I'm happy to be back home.

Still in New England

2006-04-19T19:27:00.000-07:00

Trains, planes, and automobiles.

Good clams.

Who the heck can afford to buy a house up here?

Wonderful place to visit. Pretty scenery. Lovely weather.

Thank God for the South.

New England

2006-04-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

In New England this week. Long flight. Long meetings. Long day. Good dinner. Good night.

New Front Door - Part 2

2006-04-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

Well, exposed 2x4's are now covered. All vinyl and aluminum siding replaced. Frame is caulked in. Phew!

Now looking forward to installing new interior trim, followed by more caulking. And then there is the painting.

Crap.

It's late. I need more coffee...

But on the bright side, finally got to use my reciprocating saw again. That saw is one of those tools you will rarely use in common home improvement. But when you do, man are you glad you have one. I mean, tools of mass destruction aren't necessarily a good thing to have around the house... unless you like spontaneously creating new doorways and windows. But for removing old door frames, buddy they are IT!

New Front Door

2006-04-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

My day started with this door...

and ended with this one...

Decided I needed more light in the entryway. So ordered a new door and casing, ripped out the old one, and installed the new one.

Not an easy job, but not too bad either. The crap on top of the second image is exposed 2x4's, foam insulation, and OSB. Of course the builder couldn't make things simple. Oh no, can't be simple can it. More work tomorrow.

Crap.

What happened?

2006-04-13T14:12:00.000-07:00

Where am I?

What year is this?

-------

I told Spacemonkey "when pigs fly"... and well...

Required Reading

2005-07-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

You must do your duty as a citizen of this country and read the 911 Commission's report to the public. If nothing else, you must at least read We Have Some Planes, and The Foundation of the New Terrorism.

It was in 1998 that Usama Bin Ladin and Ayman al Zawahiri issued their fatwa against the U.S. (even though neither was in an official capacity to do so). Someone help me remember... who was president of the U.S. then? Hmmm...

The two of them have hijacked the Muslim faith and are holding it hostage. This has got to stop.

So, GO READ IT NOW, you infidels!!

Thank you.

Puke Fest '05

2005-07-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

Out of commission yesterday celebrating Puke Fest '05. No, not me personally, though I came very close to participating several times. My wife and one of my children however partied hard. I'm not exactly sure who caught it first, but it hasn't been much fun the last few days. Hopefully it will run its course and leave us be.

Aren't stomach viruses fun?!

I Have A Right To Defend My Home!

2005-07-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

My wife has always been hooked on home improvement shows. And one of her favorites of course is "Trading Spaces." She's even talked about getting with one of the neighbors and writing in, hoping we would be selected to be on the show.

I, on the other hand, have seen what these evil people are capable of. I've seen how they can ruin a perfectly good room. What really freaks me out is how easily they will toss a ceiling fan. Now, up North, ceiling fans may be considered decoration. But here in the deep south, they're an essential part of your home. If they're gonna toss ceiling fans in the South, they need to be also tossing radiators and floor heaters in the North.

So I've given my wife fair warning. If the "Trading Spaces" truck ever shows up in front of MY house, I'll lay down suppression fire!

------------------------------------

NEWS FLASH!!

My wife just informed me Sith will be out on May 1st. Yippee!!

She's even a bigger Star Wars fan than I am. I married well. :)
(Let's just forget that whole "Trading Spaces" thing. Shhhhhh.)

I've Got a Great Idea!

2005-07-26T06:59:00.000-07:00

When I made my spoof ads, I mentioned "monkey butt coffee". So, just what the heck IS "monkey butt coffee?" You can find the answer to that here. So, according to www.truthorfiction.com, the animal is more like a tree dwelling cat than a monkey. Oh, OK... that makes it better.

Something happens to the beans in the journey through the cat's intestines that gives it a flavor that is celebrated by coffee drinkers.

So, my biggest question is, who discovered it? I mean, what yo-yo was walking along, saw a pile of "used" coffee, and exclaimed "I've got a great idea!?"

Look up "coffee addict" in Webster's and you should see THIS guy's picture.

"Super Friends" Live Again

2005-07-25T18:41:00.000-07:00

My older child has become obsessed with "The Super Friends". What a flashback. So we bought the DVD. As silly as those old cartoons were, my wife and I keep catching ourselves watching it too.

R/C Camels

2005-07-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

It's time to set aside those R/C cars and airplanes and try something completely different. Yes ladies and gentlemen, remote controlled camels are here. (Well actually, they're in the middle east.)

I doubt Radio Shack will have these babies, though.

The Island

2005-07-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

The wife and I saw "The Island" this weekend. I was really surprised. The movie portrays BOTH cloning AND euthanasia in a negative light. Talk about virtigo; I'm still asking myself, "is this movie a product of Hollywood?"

I thought the movie was very good. Of course, I like just about any movie the critics don't. Go figure. Some good sci-fi mixed with action and suspense. Not a bad mix.

Yeah, there are some rediculous moments. But no more rediculous than banking x-wings, screaming tie-fighters, and convenient gravity.

A little too early to be thinking about AdSense...

2005-07-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

With the amount of traffic I'm getting, if I were to suscribe to Google's AdSense, I'd be paying them!

But it still leaves me feeling left out when I see all the other happy bloggers with their happy AdSense banners advertising really wierd stuff.

So, to better fit into the crowd, I came up with my own.

Enjoy. :)

Dennis Update

2005-07-22T06:59:00.000-07:00

With all the reassembling of my house, I have yet to cut my grass since before Dennis. It's a jungle out there! But with the help of Steve Irwin I was able to track down and capture my car this morning. I still can't figure out how to get Steve's top-rope off my hood, though.

Al Gore Invents The Television

2005-07-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Al Gore's new TV channel debut's August 1st. The channel is Gore's attempt to appeal to the internet generations (18-34). But our old buddy Al seems to be forgetting something.

Exactly why do people watch TV? More importantly, why do people surf the web, then stop surfing and watch TV for awhile? Because watching TV doesn't require us to think. TV is a recreation; a mind-numbing time-out from the world. When we watch TV, we don't want to think. When we watch our favorite TV shows, we don't want to have to click after every scene. We want to mentally check-out for awhile.

So, using internet technology for video on demand? Good idea. But, mixing TV with the flighty feel of Web surfing? Bad idea.

Earth Bloggers Are Easy

2005-07-19T23:46:00.000-07:00

Good grief!

Flaming Tennis Balls

2005-07-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

Found this blurb on the ATF.GOV website.

ATF has previously examined "potato guns" or "spud guns" as described above and has generally determined that such devices using potatoes as projectiles and used solely for recreational purposes are not weapons and do not meet the definition of "firearm" or "destructive device" in either the NFA or GCA. However, ATF has classified such devices as "firearms" and "destructive devices" if their design, construction, ammunition, actual use, or intended use indicate that they are weapons. For example, ATF has classified such devices as "firearms" and "destructive devices" if they are designed and used to expel flaming tennis balls.

So as a public safety announcement...
remember, flaming tennis balls are no laughing matter.

How Does NASA Screw In A Light Bulb?

2005-07-18T23:40:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/space/07/18/shuttle.options/

The Columbia disaster is no laughing matter. Like other significant events, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when it happened. In fact, I think either I called SpaceMonkey that morning, or he called me; both of us were in shock. But you have to admit, leave it to a bunch of federally funded engineers to drastically overcomplicate a launch vehicle.

It's time for NASA to get out of the Earth orbit exploration business and finish passing that on to private enterprise. NASA is still a good fit for extra-planetary exploration, and the universe is a pretty big place. Yay Cassini-Huygens, Spirit, and Opportunity. I would say yay Deep Impact, but he's in itty bitty pieces now. Nice job anyway.

Mr. Rutan has got to be feeling pretty good about his accomplishment. If KISS (keep it simple stupid) ever shows up in Webster's, his picture should be included for he has mastered the art of simplicity.

My hat's off.

This Won't Go On My Permanent Record... Will It?

2005-07-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

I was really scratching my head after reading this article. And the ACLU responds with this.

"How dare you record and retain information on our organization. Sure we violate the law every now and then. But it is done in the name of equality and free speech!"

Logic would tell us your chances of being tracked by the FBI increase with your tendency to commit crimes or participate in large-scale activities that are disruptive to the public. Wouldn't it be funny if a well-known activist were caught robbing a 7-11?

"By cuffing me, you are cuffing my right to express my love for Slurpies! Slurpies in the name of freedom!"

Tom Cruise kills Oprah

2005-07-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

Click here to see Tom Cruise kill Oprah.

May the force be with us all...

"Aliens did things to me..."

2005-07-17T01:43:00.000-07:00

I was watching the local news the other night, and they had this guy on claiming that back in the '70's he was abducted by aliens while fishing on the Pascagoula River. And all I could think about was Independence Day when Randy Quaid's character had been ... "abused"..."sexually"...

LOL!

Stay away from my guns!

2005-07-17T01:00:00.000-07:00

So, has anyone caught the recent stories surrounding energy weapon development? Sure, energy weapons are just around the corner and include everything from microwave weapons that make your skin feel like it's on fire to radio weapons that fry electronics (sort of like an EMP). The development of all these non-lethal weapons seems pretty cool and definately gives the military and police some viable alternatives.

But don't get too excited too quick. Yes, I too am a conspiracy theorist of sorts. And yes I have a few conspiracy theories about energy weapons. So hold on to your tasers...

First of all, I'm very worried about our right to bear arms (and bare arms too), as well as those who threaten that right. And if you ask SarahK or FrankJ, I'm sure they'll agree. So what does this have to do with energy weapons? Well, I'll tell you...

Can't you just imagine the temptation for liberals to start pushing nonlethal weapons as a better choice for self protection? Sure, they'll run ad campaigns and insist that energy weapons are the safe and responsible means by which to protect ourselves and our families. And once these products are firmly established among consumers, THEY'LL POUNCE!!

They'll say, you know now that citizens have means of defense that don't rely on firearms, why have firearms at all? Then it will really kick into gear. And the arguement that we have a right to protect ourselves won't hold the weight it once did. So all that will be left will be our insistance that guns are a necessary part of providing balance to the nation and to Government power. Not good.

And what about the military and police? We're already seeing issues surrounding taser use. More and more, municipalities and civilians alike are expecting taser use over firearms. Sounds all wonderful and utopian, but let's get real. There are some circumstances when a soldier or peace officer has only a few moments to react. When your life is on the line, you're going to reach for the most lethal and trauma packed instrument you can grab... your trusty .40 cal or .357. You want stopping power (not killing power mind you). You simply want to neutralize the threat. "No Officer Bob, you should not have shot the poor, defenseless, shotgun wielding victim of society. You should have pulled your taser, read the victim the disclaimer notice, fired your nonlethal weapon, and then... after you've been cut in half by that .12 guage round... if the victim of society still posed a threat, you should have determined his source of oppression and used lethal force on the first right wing nut case you could find!!" All in the name of justice, mind you.

Why are some people so stupid? (Rhetorical question.) Gosh it's great to be back in the blogosphere.

De-Hurricaning

2005-07-17T00:15:00.000-07:00

Finally began the de-hurricaning process today. Folks that don't live along the coast may not realize all the effort that goes into preparing for a storm... not to mention undoing all that effort afterwards.

So all the boards came off the windows and I managed to reassemble the patio table. My daughter's playhouse was untied and moved back into place. Yes, I said untied. Anything I could not fit into the garage was tied to fence posts. During Ivan, the one thing I did not tie down (my storage shed) ended up getting disassembled. Most of the shed remained in the backyard, but I found the roof in my front yard. We were fortunate we got the west side of Ivan (east side bad).

Any who, so all is untied but my backyard still looks pretty barren. Lots left the garage for tomorrow. Oh well.

Holly crap!! Just took a look at Emily and she's border line CAT 5. Jeepers! All the models show a Yucatan hit followed by North Mexico, but South Texas is definately not out of the running. Poor Yucatan, but hopefully they'll tear Emily up a bit. And our new friend (the impressive mid-Atlantic wave) has been getting the crap beat out of it by shear today. Not looking too healthy as it approaches the Leewards (that's a good thing). Still, another one to watch.

Ah, hurricane season...

Have your monkey made your way

2005-07-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

I get my jollies checking out the ads on SpaceMonkey's site. Tonight, we have monkey rugs on RugsUSA and flying monkeys on eBay. What a deal!

Here we go again...

2005-07-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

OK, so after much prodding by my BlogFather, here we are again.

Yes I crumbled under the pressure of envy, watching SpaceMonkey's site meter sore to dizzying heights. But what really brought me back was missing my chance to rant about the things that tick me off. So, this blog is appropriately titled after the numero uno thing that gets me all fired up. The number one, universal office rule...

Hey SpaceMonkey, looks like I'm going to need all that wonderful code again. Gotta spiff my site up, you know.

Idiot's Guide to the Iraq War

2005-07-01T09:44:00.000-07:00

Idiot's Guide to the Iraq War

Amazing!

Every day news stories and commentaries on the war amaze me. It's the same thing day after day. Why are we in Iraq? Do the Iraqi people really want us there? Where are the weapons of mass destruction? What does our "spiritual advisor", Susan Sarandon, have to say about this? Why is President Bush doing such a horrible job?

What amazes me most about these stories is my belief that some Americans are unable to grasp what has happened to this country. They can't seem to appreciate the magnitude of these events, and the danger our country faces.

Enemy name game

The organization claiming responsibility for September 11 happens to be...every one say it with me... al Qaeda. But I propose that this is not "the" enemy. Placing blame (and our gunsights) solely on al Qaeda does not challenge the threat.

Al Qaeda is a vehicle for attack. al Qaeda is also a fairly sophisticated weapon. Focusing our efforts solely on al Qaeda would be like launching an all out invasion on the Japanese carrier Akagi following the attack on Pearl Harbor. Sure the Akagi was partly responsible for the attack. But the Akagi was also a piece of hardware. And thankfully, we set our sights further west. Duh.

As Americans, we have always looked for a foreign land with which to wage war. The rules have been simple. Another country attacks us, and we return fire. We have always kept our enemies and the rules of engagement simple. One country against another; one uniform against another; one flag against another.

Fast forward to today and we still strive for simplicity in war. The fact is that many of us still look for a single country to assign responsibility for the Trade Center. Some people can't get their minds around the concept that we are in the midst of a cultural world war between differing belief systems. And some people are so steeped in the tradition of naming a country as the enemy, they are blaming the United States for lack of any better choices.

Ok, before you start beating me over the head with the "club for insensitive people", let me finish. I'm not out to pick on any one culture...ok, well maybe just one. But hear me out.

You might be asking the question "aren't all wars waged between groups of people with differing opinions?" Sure they are, but in the past those groups have generally been contained within a common geographic border, and have been led by a world recognized, governing body.

So, who is our enemy? Who launched an offensive using a very sophisticated weapon known throughout the world as al Qaeda? The answer is simple...and not so simple. There is a single group responsible for the attack on New York and Washington D.C. A single cultural group made up of angry, fanatical, Muslim, extremists. The "not so simple part" is they only go by the name "Angry, Fanatical, Muslim, Extremists" (or AFME for your reading pleasure), and they have no world recognized governing body (not for a lack of volunteers of course).

Wait a minute, you might say. Don't we already know that? Sure, but let's take a step back and look at the big picture. This group is scattered throughout the world. It is embedded amongst other cultures and is not easily identifiable. What's worse is that often times fragments of this group are embedded within other "not so fanatical" groups that hate us, but not enough to do anything about it, but enough to harbor those that do.

Where do we go from here? We get out our maps and we identify concentrated fragments of AFME. We survey the cultures surrounding these target areas and we size up the countries in which the target areas are contained. We work with the governments of these countries when we can, and plow through the governments of other countries unwilling to help. (i.e. Iraq)

So what you're saying is we are at war with Muslims? No, silly! We are at war with AFME, and anyone that assists their efforts. Another mistake people both for and against the war make is that we are at war with Muslims. Some of those that support the war harbor ill will toward all Muslims, not realizing those they want to hate want nothing to do with al Qaeda, and in most cases have no ill will toward The United States. And for some of those against the war, they feel the U.S. has unjustly waged war against all Muslims everywhere. Right, and I have the entire internet on one DVD. Get real!

Fact is the Muslim culture is enormous in size. Those that can't focus in on the granularity of such a large group really need to take a second look. The major cultures of the world are complex in structure. AFME is only one small portion of the world Muslim population. We must come to terms with this fact. We must also realize that while the AFME is comprised of individuals willing to carry out acts against us, other similar groups also exist that may not be committed to direct action, but are willing to play a support role with AFME.

War in Iraq, Take 2!

Why Iraq now? This is not an easy question. Why we attacked Iraq second cannot be answered with the information we have publicly available. One might claim the attack was motivated by some sort of revenge on the part of President Bush. Claims like these are hasty and ignorant. We can't truly know if the timing of the Iraq invasion was the right choice without being privy to all the information presented to President Bush prior to his decision. And the catch-22 is that we can't be privy to that information without compromising our own security. We are in fact ignorant to the reasons for going to Iraq this early. Its called secretive strategy. Duh again.

Why Iraq at all? Iraq fits the criteria above. There are fragments of AFME in Iraq and the government was unwilling to help. 'Nough said. Why complicate this issue?

Iraq is not alone. Other countries fit the criteria as well, but are in more of a gray area. They are offering some cooperation, but suspicion still exists. Iraq, on the other hand, was completely defiant. No brainer. In fact, I believe that if Saddam had not let his ego control his actions, he could have played the situation more tactfully, continued to harbor AFME, and would still be in power with a larger part of the international community ignorantly backing his position. I believe his ego was his greatest weakness and cost him his "presidency" early in the game.

Why not Iran now? Iran's government has been more tactful in international relations. I would also speculate that our Government was looking for a "quick kill". Iraq was already weakened by the '91 Gulf War. Despite the build up, there was most likely a belief this would be a far easier campaign than Iran. The occupation and conversion of Iraq would also provide a launching point for any future campaigns in the area. You might be saying to yourself "but Iraq has not been quick nor easy". Well, I would say your being too hasty to pass judgement. Look back at past campaigns. They were longer and bloodier. If you compare the Iraqi campaign to conflicts of the past, you might actually be amazed at our progress. Remember that the Gulf War was primarily fought in the deserts. We never before attempted to occupy Baghdad for any length of time. Now imagine, for a moment, we had gone after Iran before Iraq. Pretty scary thought.

But rest assured. Once Iraq is "under control", our government will be turning their attention to Iran. And the ultimatum will be set. "Enough playing around. Whose side are you on?" We've got to remember the geographic borders of AFME differ from recognized national borders. Iraq was a battle, not a war.

Of course our Government has made mistakes in this "war". Humans run our government. Duh (for the third time). But I believe Its largest mistake was labeling the Iraq conflict a "war", knowing this was only a battle. People look at war as having a beginning and an end. When its over, its over. I believe many are confused in the logic that we went to war with Iraq, the war will come to an end without further action, and al Qaeda will still remain a threat. So why are we fighting Iraq and not al Qaeda?

I'll say it again; we are at war with AFME. Iraq is one of many battlefields. And al Qaeda is the weapon we are attempting to disable. We have got to step back and appreciate the complexity of our mission. Only then can we understand the importance of supporting this effort to preserve our way of life.

Note: Use of the acronym "AFME" is not intended as a reference to "American Friends of the Middle East", the "Armed Forces Medical Examiner", "Americans For Mutant Elephants" or any of a thousand other representations.