Thursday, July 28, 2005

Required Reading

You must do your duty as a citizen of this country and read the 911 Commission's report to the public. If nothing else, you must at least read We Have Some Planes, and The Foundation of the New Terrorism.

It was in 1998 that Usama Bin Ladin and Ayman al Zawahiri issued their fatwa against the U.S. (even though neither was in an official capacity to do so). Someone help me remember... who was president of the U.S. then? Hmmm...

The two of them have hijacked the Muslim faith and are holding it hostage. This has got to stop.

So, GO READ IT NOW, you infidels!!

Thank you.

Puke Fest '05

Out of commission yesterday celebrating Puke Fest '05. No, not me personally, though I came very close to participating several times. My wife and one of my children however partied hard. I'm not exactly sure who caught it first, but it hasn't been much fun the last few days. Hopefully it will run its course and leave us be.

Aren't stomach viruses fun?!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I Have A Right To Defend My Home!

My wife has always been hooked on home improvement shows. And one of her favorites of course is "Trading Spaces." She's even talked about getting with one of the neighbors and writing in, hoping we would be selected to be on the show.

I, on the other hand, have seen what these evil people are capable of. I've seen how they can ruin a perfectly good room. What really freaks me out is how easily they will toss a ceiling fan. Now, up North, ceiling fans may be considered decoration. But here in the deep south, they're an essential part of your home. If they're gonna toss ceiling fans in the South, they need to be also tossing radiators and floor heaters in the North.

So I've given my wife fair warning. If the "Trading Spaces" truck ever shows up in front of MY house, I'll lay down suppression fire!

------------------------------------

NEWS FLASH!!

My wife just informed me Sith will be out on May 1st. Yippee!!

She's even a bigger Star Wars fan than I am. I married well. :)
(Let's just forget that whole "Trading Spaces" thing. Shhhhhh.)

I've Got a Great Idea!

When I made my spoof ads, I mentioned "monkey butt coffee". So, just what the heck IS "monkey butt coffee?" You can find the answer to that here. So, according to www.truthorfiction.com, the animal is more like a tree dwelling cat than a monkey. Oh, OK... that makes it better.

Something happens to the beans in the journey through the cat's intestines that gives it a flavor that is celebrated by coffee drinkers.

So, my biggest question is, who discovered it? I mean, what yo-yo was walking along, saw a pile of "used" coffee, and exclaimed "I've got a great idea!?"

Look up "coffee addict" in Webster's and you should see THIS guy's picture.

Monday, July 25, 2005

"Super Friends" Live Again

My older child has become obsessed with "The Super Friends". What a flashback. So we bought the DVD. As silly as those old cartoons were, my wife and I keep catching ourselves watching it too.

R/C Camels

It's time to set aside those R/C cars and airplanes and try something completely different. Yes ladies and gentlemen, remote controlled camels are here. (Well actually, they're in the middle east.)

I doubt Radio Shack will have these babies, though.

The Island

The wife and I saw "The Island" this weekend. I was really surprised. The movie portrays BOTH cloning AND euthanasia in a negative light. Talk about virtigo; I'm still asking myself, "is this movie a product of Hollywood?"

I thought the movie was very good. Of course, I like just about any movie the critics don't. Go figure. Some good sci-fi mixed with action and suspense. Not a bad mix.

Yeah, there are some rediculous moments. But no more rediculous than banking x-wings, screaming tie-fighters, and convenient gravity.

Friday, July 22, 2005

A little too early to be thinking about AdSense...

With the amount of traffic I'm getting, if I were to suscribe to Google's AdSense, I'd be paying them!

But it still leaves me feeling left out when I see all the other happy bloggers with their happy AdSense banners advertising really wierd stuff.

So, to better fit into the crowd, I came up with my own.

Enjoy. :)

Dennis Update

With all the reassembling of my house, I have yet to cut my grass since before Dennis. It's a jungle out there! But with the help of Steve Irwin I was able to track down and capture my car this morning. I still can't figure out how to get Steve's top-rope off my hood, though.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Al Gore Invents The Television

Al Gore's new TV channel debut's August 1st. The channel is Gore's attempt to appeal to the internet generations (18-34). But our old buddy Al seems to be forgetting something.

Exactly why do people watch TV? More importantly, why do people surf the web, then stop surfing and watch TV for awhile? Because watching TV doesn't require us to think. TV is a recreation; a mind-numbing time-out from the world. When we watch TV, we don't want to think. When we watch our favorite TV shows, we don't want to have to click after every scene. We want to mentally check-out for awhile.

So, using internet technology for video on demand? Good idea. But, mixing TV with the flighty feel of Web surfing? Bad idea.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Earth Bloggers Are Easy

Flaming Tennis Balls

Found this blurb on the ATF.GOV website.

ATF has previously examined "potato guns" or "spud guns" as described above and has generally determined that such devices using potatoes as projectiles and used solely for recreational purposes are not weapons and do not meet the definition of "firearm" or "destructive device" in either the NFA or GCA. However, ATF has classified such devices as "firearms" and "destructive devices" if their design, construction, ammunition, actual use, or intended use indicate that they are weapons. For example, ATF has classified such devices as "firearms" and "destructive devices" if they are designed and used to expel flaming tennis balls.

So as a public safety announcement...
remember, flaming tennis balls are no laughing matter.

Monday, July 18, 2005

How Does NASA Screw In A Light Bulb?

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/space/07/18/shuttle.options/

The Columbia disaster is no laughing matter. Like other significant events, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when it happened. In fact, I think either I called SpaceMonkey that morning, or he called me; both of us were in shock. But you have to admit, leave it to a bunch of federally funded engineers to drastically overcomplicate a launch vehicle.

It's time for NASA to get out of the Earth orbit exploration business and finish passing that on to private enterprise. NASA is still a good fit for extra-planetary exploration, and the universe is a pretty big place. Yay Cassini-Huygens, Spirit, and Opportunity. I would say yay Deep Impact, but he's in itty bitty pieces now. Nice job anyway.

Mr. Rutan has got to be feeling pretty good about his accomplishment. If KISS (keep it simple stupid) ever shows up in Webster's, his picture should be included for he has mastered the art of simplicity.

My hat's off.

This Won't Go On My Permanent Record... Will It?

I was really scratching my head after reading this article. And the ACLU responds with this.

"How dare you record and retain information on our organization. Sure we violate the law every now and then. But it is done in the name of equality and free speech!"

Logic would tell us your chances of being tracked by the FBI increase with your tendency to commit crimes or participate in large-scale activities that are disruptive to the public. Wouldn't it be funny if a well-known activist were caught robbing a 7-11?

"By cuffing me, you are cuffing my right to express my love for Slurpies! Slurpies in the name of freedom!"

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Tom Cruise kills Oprah

Click here to see Tom Cruise kill Oprah.

May the force be with us all...

"Aliens did things to me..."

I was watching the local news the other night, and they had this guy on claiming that back in the '70's he was abducted by aliens while fishing on the Pascagoula River. And all I could think about was Independence Day when Randy Quaid's character had been ... "abused"..."sexually"...

LOL!

Stay away from my guns!

So, has anyone caught the recent stories surrounding energy weapon development? Sure, energy weapons are just around the corner and include everything from microwave weapons that make your skin feel like it's on fire to radio weapons that fry electronics (sort of like an EMP). The development of all these non-lethal weapons seems pretty cool and definately gives the military and police some viable alternatives.

But don't get too excited too quick. Yes, I too am a conspiracy theorist of sorts. And yes I have a few conspiracy theories about energy weapons. So hold on to your tasers...

First of all, I'm very worried about our right to bear arms (and bare arms too), as well as those who threaten that right. And if you ask SarahK or FrankJ, I'm sure they'll agree. So what does this have to do with energy weapons? Well, I'll tell you...

Can't you just imagine the temptation for liberals to start pushing nonlethal weapons as a better choice for self protection? Sure, they'll run ad campaigns and insist that energy weapons are the safe and responsible means by which to protect ourselves and our families. And once these products are firmly established among consumers, THEY'LL POUNCE!!

They'll say, you know now that citizens have means of defense that don't rely on firearms, why have firearms at all? Then it will really kick into gear. And the arguement that we have a right to protect ourselves won't hold the weight it once did. So all that will be left will be our insistance that guns are a necessary part of providing balance to the nation and to Government power. Not good.

And what about the military and police? We're already seeing issues surrounding taser use. More and more, municipalities and civilians alike are expecting taser use over firearms. Sounds all wonderful and utopian, but let's get real. There are some circumstances when a soldier or peace officer has only a few moments to react. When your life is on the line, you're going to reach for the most lethal and trauma packed instrument you can grab... your trusty .40 cal or .357. You want stopping power (not killing power mind you). You simply want to neutralize the threat. "No Officer Bob, you should not have shot the poor, defenseless, shotgun wielding victim of society. You should have pulled your taser, read the victim the disclaimer notice, fired your nonlethal weapon, and then... after you've been cut in half by that .12 guage round... if the victim of society still posed a threat, you should have determined his source of oppression and used lethal force on the first right wing nut case you could find!!" All in the name of justice, mind you.

Why are some people so stupid? (Rhetorical question.) Gosh it's great to be back in the blogosphere.

De-Hurricaning

Finally began the de-hurricaning process today. Folks that don't live along the coast may not realize all the effort that goes into preparing for a storm... not to mention undoing all that effort afterwards.

So all the boards came off the windows and I managed to reassemble the patio table. My daughter's playhouse was untied and moved back into place. Yes, I said untied. Anything I could not fit into the garage was tied to fence posts. During Ivan, the one thing I did not tie down (my storage shed) ended up getting disassembled. Most of the shed remained in the backyard, but I found the roof in my front yard. We were fortunate we got the west side of Ivan (east side bad).

Any who, so all is untied but my backyard still looks pretty barren. Lots left the garage for tomorrow. Oh well.

Holly crap!! Just took a look at Emily and she's border line CAT 5. Jeepers! All the models show a Yucatan hit followed by North Mexico, but South Texas is definately not out of the running. Poor Yucatan, but hopefully they'll tear Emily up a bit. And our new friend (the impressive mid-Atlantic wave) has been getting the crap beat out of it by shear today. Not looking too healthy as it approaches the Leewards (that's a good thing). Still, another one to watch.

Ah, hurricane season...

Friday, July 15, 2005

Have your monkey made your way

I get my jollies checking out the ads on SpaceMonkey's site. Tonight, we have monkey rugs on RugsUSA and flying monkeys on eBay. What a deal!

Here we go again...

OK, so after much prodding by my BlogFather, here we are again.

Yes I crumbled under the pressure of envy, watching SpaceMonkey's site meter sore to dizzying heights. But what really brought me back was missing my chance to rant about the things that tick me off. So, this blog is appropriately titled after the numero uno thing that gets me all fired up. The number one, universal office rule...

Hey SpaceMonkey, looks like I'm going to need all that wonderful code again. Gotta spiff my site up, you know.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Idiot's Guide to the Iraq War




Idiot's Guide to the Iraq War

Amazing!

Every day news stories and commentaries on the war amaze me. It's the same thing day after day. Why are we in Iraq? Do the Iraqi people really want us there? Where are the weapons of mass destruction? What does our "spiritual advisor", Susan Sarandon, have to say about this? Why is President Bush doing such a horrible job?

What amazes me most about these stories is my belief that some Americans are unable to grasp what has happened to this country. They can't seem to appreciate the magnitude of these events, and the danger our country faces.

Enemy name game

The organization claiming responsibility for September 11 happens to be...every one say it with me... al Qaeda. But I propose that this is not "the" enemy. Placing blame (and our gunsights) solely on al Qaeda does not challenge the threat.

Al Qaeda is a vehicle for attack. al Qaeda is also a fairly sophisticated weapon. Focusing our efforts solely on al Qaeda would be like launching an all out invasion on the Japanese carrier Akagi following the attack on Pearl Harbor. Sure the Akagi was partly responsible for the attack. But the Akagi was also a piece of hardware. And thankfully, we set our sights further west. Duh.

As Americans, we have always looked for a foreign land with which to wage war. The rules have been simple. Another country attacks us, and we return fire. We have always kept our enemies and the rules of engagement simple. One country against another; one uniform against another; one flag against another.

Fast forward to today and we still strive for simplicity in war. The fact is that many of us still look for a single country to assign responsibility for the Trade Center. Some people can't get their minds around the concept that we are in the midst of a cultural world war between differing belief systems. And some people are so steeped in the tradition of naming a country as the enemy, they are blaming the United States for lack of any better choices.

Ok, before you start beating me over the head with the "club for insensitive people", let me finish. I'm not out to pick on any one culture...ok, well maybe just one. But hear me out.

You might be asking the question "aren't all wars waged between groups of people with differing opinions?" Sure they are, but in the past those groups have generally been contained within a common geographic border, and have been led by a world recognized, governing body.

So, who is our enemy? Who launched an offensive using a very sophisticated weapon known throughout the world as al Qaeda? The answer is simple...and not so simple. There is a single group responsible for the attack on New York and Washington D.C. A single cultural group made up of angry, fanatical, Muslim, extremists. The "not so simple part" is they only go by the name "Angry, Fanatical, Muslim, Extremists" (or AFME for your reading pleasure), and they have no world recognized governing body (not for a lack of volunteers of course).

Wait a minute, you might say. Don't we already know that? Sure, but let's take a step back and look at the big picture. This group is scattered throughout the world. It is embedded amongst other cultures and is not easily identifiable. What's worse is that often times fragments of this group are embedded within other "not so fanatical" groups that hate us, but not enough to do anything about it, but enough to harbor those that do.

Where do we go from here? We get out our maps and we identify concentrated fragments of AFME. We survey the cultures surrounding these target areas and we size up the countries in which the target areas are contained. We work with the governments of these countries when we can, and plow through the governments of other countries unwilling to help. (i.e. Iraq)

So what you're saying is we are at war with Muslims? No, silly! We are at war with AFME, and anyone that assists their efforts. Another mistake people both for and against the war make is that we are at war with Muslims. Some of those that support the war harbor ill will toward all Muslims, not realizing those they want to hate want nothing to do with al Qaeda, and in most cases have no ill will toward The United States. And for some of those against the war, they feel the U.S. has unjustly waged war against all Muslims everywhere. Right, and I have the entire internet on one DVD. Get real!

Fact is the Muslim culture is enormous in size. Those that can't focus in on the granularity of such a large group really need to take a second look. The major cultures of the world are complex in structure. AFME is only one small portion of the world Muslim population. We must come to terms with this fact. We must also realize that while the AFME is comprised of individuals willing to carry out acts against us, other similar groups also exist that may not be committed to direct action, but are willing to play a support role with AFME.

War in Iraq, Take 2!

Why Iraq now? This is not an easy question. Why we attacked Iraq second cannot be answered with the information we have publicly available. One might claim the attack was motivated by some sort of revenge on the part of President Bush. Claims like these are hasty and ignorant. We can't truly know if the timing of the Iraq invasion was the right choice without being privy to all the information presented to President Bush prior to his decision. And the catch-22 is that we can't be privy to that information without compromising our own security. We are in fact ignorant to the reasons for going to Iraq this early. Its called secretive strategy. Duh again.

Why Iraq at all? Iraq fits the criteria above. There are fragments of AFME in Iraq and the government was unwilling to help. 'Nough said. Why complicate this issue?

Iraq is not alone. Other countries fit the criteria as well, but are in more of a gray area. They are offering some cooperation, but suspicion still exists. Iraq, on the other hand, was completely defiant. No brainer. In fact, I believe that if Saddam had not let his ego control his actions, he could have played the situation more tactfully, continued to harbor AFME, and would still be in power with a larger part of the international community ignorantly backing his position. I believe his ego was his greatest weakness and cost him his "presidency" early in the game.

Why not Iran now? Iran's government has been more tactful in international relations. I would also speculate that our Government was looking for a "quick kill". Iraq was already weakened by the '91 Gulf War. Despite the build up, there was most likely a belief this would be a far easier campaign than Iran. The occupation and conversion of Iraq would also provide a launching point for any future campaigns in the area. You might be saying to yourself "but Iraq has not been quick nor easy". Well, I would say your being too hasty to pass judgement. Look back at past campaigns. They were longer and bloodier. If you compare the Iraqi campaign to conflicts of the past, you might actually be amazed at our progress. Remember that the Gulf War was primarily fought in the deserts. We never before attempted to occupy Baghdad for any length of time. Now imagine, for a moment, we had gone after Iran before Iraq. Pretty scary thought.

But rest assured. Once Iraq is "under control", our government will be turning their attention to Iran. And the ultimatum will be set. "Enough playing around. Whose side are you on?" We've got to remember the geographic borders of AFME differ from recognized national borders. Iraq was a battle, not a war.

Of course our Government has made mistakes in this "war". Humans run our government. Duh (for the third time). But I believe Its largest mistake was labeling the Iraq conflict a "war", knowing this was only a battle. People look at war as having a beginning and an end. When its over, its over. I believe many are confused in the logic that we went to war with Iraq, the war will come to an end without further action, and al Qaeda will still remain a threat. So why are we fighting Iraq and not al Qaeda?

I'll say it again; we are at war with AFME. Iraq is one of many battlefields. And al Qaeda is the weapon we are attempting to disable. We have got to step back and appreciate the complexity of our mission. Only then can we understand the importance of supporting this effort to preserve our way of life.

Note: Use of the acronym "AFME" is not intended as a reference to "American Friends of the Middle East", the "Armed Forces Medical Examiner", "Americans For Mutant Elephants" or any of a thousand other representations.