NSA hires Tom Cruise

Courtesy http://i.imdb.com

I recently learned that the NSA's capabilities in communication tracking exceeds previous predictions. According to sources, they now possess the capabilities to record phone conversations before they actually happen!

With the help of Tom Cruise, the NSA has perfected a new system that will record future phone conversations and print them on balls. Unlike the movie, however, they have decided to go with ping-pong balls since they are easy to print on and since the NSA has a special relationship with Spalding.

Following the same premise as the movie, the system requires the brain power of individuals floating in water. Because all NSA employees are highly skilled in ESP techniques, they simply wired into the NSA's indoor pool located in their health spa (this is the government after all). Furthermore, they have found that the more people in the pool the better the results.

Oddly enough, every employee is now required to register for water aerobics.